OPSM 101 - Opossum Capture HOWTO
This course is designed to be taken as a corequisite with RBT 101 - Rabbit Capture HOWTO, although it is not required. In this document we shall discuss in depth a novel approach to capturing an opossum, with the ultimate goal of making it go down a slide. According to random websites opossums are in general rather slow and while appearing fierce are not actually accomplished fighters. They are, as one site states, "very rarely aggressive." That said, they do bare their teeth and growl (as this one did). Apparently they may also fake their own death as a means of defense, though we did not observe this particular phenomenon.
Step 1 - Locate an Opossum
This one happened to wander by the apartment at an opportune time...
Step 2 - Locate a Capture Apparatus
Large garbage cans work well, though in hindsight we might recommend something slightly smaller as we did have to deform the garbage bin while helping the opossum experience gravity in its full glory.
Step 3 - Carefully Utilize the Capture Apparatus
Placing the garbage can over the opossum ensures that it won't run away - it also provides a basis for opossum transport. In order to transport the opossum we clearly need to close off the bottom of the capture apparatus. First attempts involved utilizing the lid for the garbage bin. Unfortunately the curvature was too great to overcome and we instead resorted to a cardboard box.
Step 4 - Invert Capture Apparatus in Preparation for Transport
Once the capture apparatus is closed, one will want to invert it to minimize the risk of opossum escape and to allow for easy transport. Placing the lid on the top serves as an extra, albeit ultimately unnecessary, safety precaution.
Step 5 - Locate an Inclined Plane
Playgrounds are a good start. We want something that will allow us to take part of the force due to gravity (the parallel component) and use it to effect acceleration! Position the opossum such that the probability of it escaping towards you is minimal.
Step 6 - Overcome the Opossum's Innate Antigravity Mechanism
Also known as claws (not clause). A stick works great...
Step 7 - Sliding Opossum!
Victory is ours!
Step 8 - Be Nice
Return the opossum to its original starting position.
That concludes today's lesson. Remember, do not try this at home. If you do, don't sue us.
